In’advert’ently Annoying!!!

I was watching the India – South Africa test match last night and realized how ‘in-your-face’ advertising has really become! As far back as I can remember, advertisements used to be shown during cricket matches between two overs while the captain of the fielding side decided which bowler he would bring on next, had a quick chat with his vice captain on strategy for the batsman on strike, and set the field accordingly. Advertisers got a slightly longer slot during the drinks break or when someone got out. This has completely changed! Now, advertisements hit you between two overs, between two deliveries and even during the deliveries for crying out loud! Its annoying as hell!!! It started with “cover the bottom half of the screen” approach that the cablewaalas of yesteryear used to employ for selling Rupa underwear or jalebis from the neighbourhood Agarwal sweets. Remember that? Shah Rukh Khan doing his song and dance routine, when suddenly out of nowhere comes this wide variety of underwear bouncing onto the screen!!! Then came the inserts with a tiger appearing on the screen cheering every boundary that was scored. Next was the turn of the more hi-tech picture-in-picture kind of advertising. Here, the sports screen shrinks to about three fourths of its size, with advertisers using a quarter of the screen for shoving some inane brand name into our homes! As if that wasn’t enough, now is the age of holographic images being imposed onto some part of the cricket field. Like yesterday, there was Zaheer bowling to Greame Smith, with Dhoni and the slip fielders looking on in rapt attention hoping for a nick to come their way. I too was glued to the TV screen lest my lapse in concentration make India drop a catch or something. Then right at Dhoni’s feet comes this signage in blue saying ‘Samvedna’ (or something of that sort). Smith drives Zaheer straight down the pitch and you see ‘Voltas’ displayed around the 30 yard line! Next ball that Zaheer goes to bowl, its some other brand at Dhoni’s feet! I think the Indian advertisers / broadcasters saw this happening during one of the EPL games being aired on TV and decided to take it to the next level! Rather than just at the beginning of the match as is done in the EPL and the likes, they must’ve said, why not just use every minute of the 5 day test match to advertise something???

An advertiser probably thought that for a change people are watching these test matches, and thanks to the recession I can’t afford air time during the more popular versions of the game – the T20s and ODIs. So, why not just use the test series to spread the word about my revolutionary new product? What better way to welcome Laxman’s free flow of runs than with my constipation-ending isabgol being displayed on air? Or what better way to celebrate Bhajji’s 7 wicket haul than filling the TV screens with Pappu Pagadis (turbans)? The broadcasters, of course, are more than happy to oblige – at the right cost! While they make tons of money, I suppose they seem to have forgotten all about the poor TV viewers in the process. I understand that getting broadcasting rights these days for any sporting event is a painful and costly affair considering the number of sports channels that we have today. But, spare a thought for the viewers. When I see a cricket match, I want to see it without any interruptions. How irritated do we get when someone walks across the screen just when the bowler is about to bowl? Now, aren’t the broadcasters doing the exact same thing – these advertisements are that fat Punjabi aunt coming between you and the cricket every single ball of the match!!!

I know that sponsors are essential for broadening the popularity of any sport – pump in the money, generate interest, get more people involved in the sport etc. etc. etc. But, where do we draw the line between healthy advertising that one appreciates and the shove-it-down-someone’s-throat kind? Does this happen only in the sub-continent, I wonder? Or is it equally annoying for the Lords at Westchester when they watch the Ashes on TV? I suppose not! Is our tolerance level higher? I think not – I get irritated when these ads cover half my TV screen!!! Or are the broadcasters just taking our Indian ‘chalta hai’ attitude for granted??? I think this is it! Just like we all got used to the buzzing sounds of the vuvuzela during the Football World Cup, the broadcasters must feel we’ll just get used to these advertisements as well. So, how do we get rid of these pesky advertisers from ruining our cricket viewing experience? Suggestions please!!!! One immediate way is to switch to the high definition channels from the Tata Skies and the Airtels – no ads. Period. Problem 1 with that approach is that not all channels have the HD version that we can switch to. Problem 2 is affordability. While you and I can still pay for this ‘premium service’ (I can’t believe no ads is what qualifies for premium service these days!), not all people can.

I can almost imagine sports-viewing in India about 5 years from now. Ads creeping into every sporting spectacle that we watch. Brands associating themselves with certain players – not by paying them for becoming brand ambassadors, but by sheer timing of the ads coming on when these players are on screen. Some examples that spring to mind immediately are:
1. Rafael Nadal – VIP underwear ads; Tagline – Ab adjust karne ki zaroorat nahin!
2. Tiger Woods – Sharma Driving School; Tagline – Gaadi bhagayein, magar pedh par nahin!
3. John Terry – Community Matrimony.com; Tagline – Aisi jodi banaye ki baaju wale ki biwi pe nazar hi na jaaye!
4. Serena Williams – Rambo Gym; Tagline – Asli pehelvanon ki pasand!
5. Andrew Symmonds – Bandar Chaap Agarbatti – no tagline required here 
6. Zinedine Zidane (well, I know he’s retired, but just couldn’t resist this) – Navratna Tel; Tagline – Thanda thanda cool cool – laal tel jo aapko laal card se duur rakhe!

In fact, if they extended this to the other channels, there are huge revenues to be had for TV channels broadcasting latest / popular movies, or even the news for that matter. Imagine the ads here:
1. Pamela Anderson comes on screen in a wet T-shirt and pop comes the ad for Asian Paints with their tagline: “Reverse the effect of water on your walls with Silicon”…I’m sure this would be far more convincing than the ad they have on air right now with the kids splashing water all over the place. By the way, I’m still confused how silicon in the paint helps walls to repel water?!?!?!
2. Sarah Palin comes on some feature on CNBC, and the Idea mobile number portability ad comes on the side of the screen – No idea? Get Idea!!!

But yeah, the point remains – where are we headed with this intrusive advertising that’s ruining the joy of sports?!?!?! Although we can’t get away from advertising altogether, how can we keep it under control, and not let advertisers invade our lives?!?!