Movies Can(nes) Fool You!

If you have read any of my earlier blogs, you will know that I am not very artistically inclined. Actually, ‘creatively daft’ would be more apt! Never been a patron of the arts; nor an avid museum-goer; and the only reason I would’ve ever stepped into an art gallery on my own accord would’ve probably been to use their washroom! Naturally, this line of thought has also trickled down into my choice of movies over the years. Hang on! The words ‘washroom’ and ‘trickled down’ used so close together was just a co-incidence – didn’t mean anything by it! Honest!

So, getting back to the topic then - movies! I have always been a fan of two genres – action (and when I say action, it includes any movie even remotely connected to the defence forces) and comedy. In fact, if you could combine the two genres, nothing like it! Animated movies, too, are a big hit with me! My Cousin Vinny, Top Gun, Die Hard, Oscar, The Incredibles, Hot Shots…these are some of the movies I have watched over and over. I am not saying that my movie watching is restricted to these genres though - more often than not, I end up watching any inane junk that the multiplexes in town dare to screen.

Sure, I also do my fair share of serious cinema. Shawshank Redemption counts as serious cinema, doesn’t it? But, don’t expect me to come out of an artsy-partsy movie saying, “I didn’t quite understand what the fuss was all about, but the cinematography was superb!”. Come to think of it, that is exactly what I would say if I was talking to an artsy movie enthusiast and wanted to get my point on “what the fuss was all about” across without sounding overly-critical (or from his point of view, a complete retard!). For me, you can make a visually brilliant movie, with all the right camera angles, soft picture settings, the works. But, if I don’t get the story, I don’t like the movie. Period!

Take the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona for instance. How many of you have seen this Woody Allen flick? I can safely say that 85% of the guys just went for the Scarlett Johanson – Penelope Cruz scene! The jury is still out on what the other 15% were there for – I will get back to you on that! And no, women are no better. Ladies, I have two words for you - Javier Bardem! Frankly, to me, the man looks like he is a step or two behind in the evolution process. But, as they say, to each his (or in this case, her) own! Bottom line is, I went in for the movie, enjoyed the onscreen chemistry - between Scarlett and Penelope of course - and came out wondering, “what was the point of the movie again?”. To top it off, the guy sitting behind us says to his friend, “yaar, yeh Vicky aur Cristina to pata chala, but picture mein Barcelona kaun thi?”- priceless!

So, there, I said it! I did not like a Woody Allen movie - you might call it blasphemy; you might even call it lack of culture – I don’t care. Then there is this other movie called ‘Midnight in Paris’ which my sister saw a couple of weeks back. Just an FYI, her inkling towards artsy movies is probably just as good/bad as mine. So, she saw the movie, and apparently, it bored her to death. So, that’s 2-in-2 against Woody Allen for me at this point of time. However, knowing that he is one of Hollywood’s greatest, I shall keep an open mind – if someone wants to recommend a genuinely good Woody Allen movie to me, I’m up for giving it a shot!

Just yesterday, I went for ‘Tree of Life’ starring Brad Pitt and Sean Penn – Best Film at Cannes. Sounded impressive all around, and we were really looking forward to seeing this one. The entire audience went into a state of trance as the plot unfolded. Some of the folks around us were in such a deep trance that they actually looked like they had fallen asleep. No, it couldn’t be! The Best Film at Cannes – it had to be a trance. Frankly speaking, the movie was brilliantly shot. I’m positive that nothing even on Discovery HD could beat some of the shots we saw here. Everyone stared in awe. After a while though, in a rather combined reaction across the theatre, there was a feeling of “why are we watching Discovery channel?”. Yes, it usually takes just one comment from that loudmouth next to you to shatter the illusion of brilliance. That’s what happened, and the ripple carried across the theatre.

The movie ends and we have that long, pensive walk back to the parking lot. You know the kind where you are not entirely sure on whether you liked the movie, hated it or just didn’t understand it! Then starts the discussion about what the other person felt about the movie, where you prod ever-so-gently to ascertain whether you were the only doofus who didn’t understand the movie! Thankfully, that didn’t happen here – both of us were equally confused, walking out with perplexed looks on our faces. Did we miss a trick or two in there? How much did we miss in those first two minutes because we were late?

So, yes, my point to the movie makers is this. By all means, make complicated movies with multi-layered plots, much like Leonardo Di Caprio’s Inception. Make the audiences think. Leave that something out of the final scene that will make us go, hmmmmm…what must have finally happened? Let our imaginations do some work as well. You are the creative ones, and creative you should be! But, at the end of the day, just think to yourself -“what was the point of this movie?”. If you can answer that without batting an eyelid, you’re ok. If you are a little confused about the response after seeing the final edit, get a second opinion. If you have no clue whatsoever, well, you’ve got a Cannes winner on your hands – do not change a scene!