The on-going presidential polls have turned into quite a mockery. Names of random individuals are being spewed out by political parties from every corner of the country as the next possible rashtrapati. Among all this chaos, our government sits helpless in their bid to please every Tom, Dick and Bengali that crosses their path. The bane of coalition politics, I suppose! The whole situation reminds me of an unauthoritative mother not being able to control her pesky, tantrum-throwing kids. Soniaji, a good spanking is in order!
I was pleasantly surprised that nobody has come up with Anna Hazare as a possible candidate (yet). However, come to think of it, making Anna president would be the perfect cover for Congress, wouldn’t it? The Lokpal bill would finally see the light of day. If my Social Studies lectures from Class 8th serve me right, Anna would only be able to reject the Congress version once, post which, he would have no say in the matter. Also, Anna becoming President suits Team Anna perfectly - they can then continue to create a hulla without doing any actual work. Only downside is that because of the powers that come with the job along with his Gandhian demeanour, Anna would have to pardon all death sentences in the country.
Anyway, the Twitterati seems to be really enjoying all the commotion right now. One of the really funny tweets that I read was “Let’s make Pranab Mukherjee the President. That way, Manmohan Singh can be the Finance Minister again. The PM post can remain vacant because there is no decision that the PM takes these days anyway.” Omar Abdullah, too, joined the bandwagon with “I’m tempted to throw my hat in the ring for President. I couldn’t possibly muddy the waters more than they are.” The comment makes me wonder about alternate candidates, and how things would turn out at Rashtrapati Bhavan:
1. Baba Ramdev – he would be the first person in world history to be the Head and Foot of State depending upon which end was pointing up at the time.
2. Sachin Tendulkar – during his tenure, Rashtrapati Bhavan would be shut down for the first time since it was built. Well, I’m just guessing here that he will turn down government-provided accommodation, MP or President.
3. Vidya Balan – this self-proclaimed bombshell with her ‘typical Indian curves’ will have the pervs of Indian politics listening to (or at least watching) her in rapt attention - something poor Pratibha Patil could never manage.
4. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar – India will stop hosting delegates and foreign dignitaries for tea at Rashtrapati Bhavan because Sri Sri Ravi Shankar just tells everybody to give up tea!
5. Arnab Goswami – the Indian media, and us viewers, would be better off with this joker locked up behind the heavily guarded gates of the presidential abode.
At the moment, who will take up this prestigious, albeit rubber-stamp, position still remains a huge mystery. But thanks to the media hullabaloo about the ‘all party meetings’ and the didi-bhaiyya cajoling, I am sick and tired to the point of not giving two hoots of who finally becomes India’s thirteenth President. By the way, I don’t remember any hungama when Pratibha Patil was made President? Who died and made her queen?
I was pleasantly surprised that nobody has come up with Anna Hazare as a possible candidate (yet). However, come to think of it, making Anna president would be the perfect cover for Congress, wouldn’t it? The Lokpal bill would finally see the light of day. If my Social Studies lectures from Class 8th serve me right, Anna would only be able to reject the Congress version once, post which, he would have no say in the matter. Also, Anna becoming President suits Team Anna perfectly - they can then continue to create a hulla without doing any actual work. Only downside is that because of the powers that come with the job along with his Gandhian demeanour, Anna would have to pardon all death sentences in the country.
Anyway, the Twitterati seems to be really enjoying all the commotion right now. One of the really funny tweets that I read was “Let’s make Pranab Mukherjee the President. That way, Manmohan Singh can be the Finance Minister again. The PM post can remain vacant because there is no decision that the PM takes these days anyway.” Omar Abdullah, too, joined the bandwagon with “I’m tempted to throw my hat in the ring for President. I couldn’t possibly muddy the waters more than they are.” The comment makes me wonder about alternate candidates, and how things would turn out at Rashtrapati Bhavan:
1. Baba Ramdev – he would be the first person in world history to be the Head and Foot of State depending upon which end was pointing up at the time.
2. Sachin Tendulkar – during his tenure, Rashtrapati Bhavan would be shut down for the first time since it was built. Well, I’m just guessing here that he will turn down government-provided accommodation, MP or President.
3. Vidya Balan – this self-proclaimed bombshell with her ‘typical Indian curves’ will have the pervs of Indian politics listening to (or at least watching) her in rapt attention - something poor Pratibha Patil could never manage.
4. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar – India will stop hosting delegates and foreign dignitaries for tea at Rashtrapati Bhavan because Sri Sri Ravi Shankar just tells everybody to give up tea!
5. Arnab Goswami – the Indian media, and us viewers, would be better off with this joker locked up behind the heavily guarded gates of the presidential abode.
At the moment, who will take up this prestigious, albeit rubber-stamp, position still remains a huge mystery. But thanks to the media hullabaloo about the ‘all party meetings’ and the didi-bhaiyya cajoling, I am sick and tired to the point of not giving two hoots of who finally becomes India’s thirteenth President. By the way, I don’t remember any hungama when Pratibha Patil was made President? Who died and made her queen?
2 comments:
lol.. really nice list of candidates :-D
but I support manmohan singh suggested for president. If work experience matters, no one else has more... of being a rubber-stamp that is.
Nice post - apt and very timely..
As it appears now, Pranabda seems all set to move to Raisina Hill. That leaves Mamatadi without a penny, a hostile Pranab (and Congress) and also having to explain to the bhadralok why she tried to pull down a fellow Bengali!
Hopefully, MMS can now get his own man as FM - either Montek or Rangarajan, and maybe they can again kick start the economy!!
Post a Comment